100 Things Greece Shouldn't Do
by TeutonicFlower
Summary: Greece isn't always a quiet, sleepy philosopher.


**100 THINGS GREECE MUST NOT DO**

1. Sleeping at a G8 meeting is not acceptable.

2. Neither is snoring loudly.

3. Especially when Turkey is speaking.

4. Even if it does make Egypt smile.

5. Accepting kittens from Prussia to do 'fun things' is forbidden.

6. Even if those 'fun things' involve rope and Turkey.

7. It's not funny, no matter how hard Prussia laughs.

8. I must never mention the history of the olympics to France again.

9. It won't end well for anyone.

10. Especially England.

11. This counts for any other ancient rituals involving nudity.

12. Thera was not Turkey's fault.

13. Blaming him for it will solve nothing.

14. Thus, getting revenge for it us unorthadox and in poor taste.

15. Reminding Japan that he left his hakama at my house is frowned on.

16. Especially in front of France.

17. On that subject, if anyone asks, we did NOT sleep together.

18. The pictures are a lie.

19. As are the videos.

20. And anything else Hungary might claim is authentic.

21. Because it's not.

22. Especially if it involves Turkey.

23. Calling Turkey 'Old', 'Washed-up', or 'Has-been' is rude and is not to be done.

24. As is paying Hungary to parade around in his Ottoman-Empire outfit and molest people.

25. 'It makes me happy' is not a good enough excuse.

26. Paying Austria and Prussia to play and sing "The Phantom of the Opera" each time Turkey walks into a room is not funny.

27. Nor is asking any other of pair of nations to do it.

28. Even if it really is.

29. Making any references to Tuxedo Mask is also forbidden.

30. This includes asking him about his love affair with Sailor Moon.

31. Even if it makes Japan giggle.

32. No matter how true it is, allowing Prussia to play 'Sex Bomb' when I walk into the room is not allowed.

33. Training a kitten to bite Turkey's toes during meetings is in bad taste.

34. Especially if it's done in the middle of Russia's presentation.

35. Telling Russia that Turkey wants to become one with him will result in death.

36. My death.

37. This goes for telling Prussia that Turkey's vital regions are currently free as well.

38. Telling security there is a sucpicious masked man in the building will result in punishment.

39. And not the good kind.

40. Discussing condoms with France is forbidden.

41. As is asking him to prove that he uses them and then shoving him at Romano.

42. Hiding from Spain behind Switzerland will not save me.

43. Shouting out 42 as an answer to questions is not acceptable.

44. Mocking Canada's warship will result in Kumajirou being thrown at me.

45. Which is a bad thing.

46. Those claws hurt.

47. Making out with Japan to make Turkey jealous is cruel and therefore frowned upon.

48. Especially if China is also in the room.

49. He won't take it well.

50. Even if I claim Hungary asked nicely.

51. It won't work.

52. Giving Liechtenstein kittens will get me shot.

53. It doesn't matter if they're cute.

54. Togas are not acceptable attire for meetings.

55. No one cares if I enjoy the breeze.

56. I am, under no circumstances, to give a toga to France.

57. Or England.

58. Especially if one of them is drunk.

59. Stealing China's lunch to give it a 'proper burial' is unacceptable.

60. The meat is not cats.

61. No matter what Korea says.

62. Telling Switzerland that the meat is Saint Bernards is a bad idea.

63. As is telling China that Switzerland is eating pandas.

64. Cursing at Turkey at meetings is bad.

65. Even if no one can understand it because I'm speaking in Greek.

66. This goes for flirting with Japan, too.

67. It won't matter anyways, because Japan won't understand either.

68. This does not mean I should teach him.

69. Bragging about being the largest is not proper meeting material.

70. Even if the charts prove it.

71. Because Prussia will bring up 'five meters'.

72. And nothing will get done.

73. This is a bad thing.

74. Handjobs under the table at G8 meetings are not acceptable.

75. No matter how good it feels.

76. Or how quiet we can be.

77. Slideshows about cats are not acceptable presentations.

78. Nor are slideshows about how much Turkey sucks.

79. Resuming the conversation from the Grocery Store with Spain to stall the meeting is forbidden.

80. Even if it was fascinating.

81. No one wants to hear, 'Eh, sona?' or 'Mm' again.

82. Ever.

83. Especially Germany.

84. And Austria.

85. 'Yeah well I had Socrates!' is not an acceptable comeback.

86. Replacing Socrates with Aristotle is not acceptable either.

87. Retorting with 'At least I'm in the EU' to Turkey will result in tears.

88. His tears.

89. Which is why it's not allowed.

90. The resulting sword fight and damage to the meeting room is NOT worth it.

91. Or so Austria says.

92. Germany was not amused either.

93. Prussia, on the other hand...

94. Using the feather from Turkey's hat as a toy for my cats is not acceptable.

95. Calling Egypt 'little brother' is favoritism.

96. Even though we have the same father.

97. And I'm not allowed to explain to Italy when he says 'I don't get it'.

98. Especially not in detail.

99. Germany will not approve.

100. After the meeting is another story.

* * *

**Main Author: Hungary**

**Partner: Puroisen  
**


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